My Personal Journey

Thoughts and musing on hair wash day

Looking at the real me

As I look into the mirror at my hair, I wondered about life and how change has happened over the years. The world, society, and even myself have all changed. However, sometimes I just feel like I was asleep at the wheels while living life.

The feeling of change in myself

I have never been ashamed of how I looked (except for the few times my foster mom gave me an awful haircut. Thanks, mom!, lol) but I never really put much thought into my appearance. Throw on a t-shirt and tennis shoes, fluff up my afro hair. Sometimes stick a scarf around my head for color and out the door I go.

But today, as I stand in the bathroom preparing to wash my lovely locks, something in me is asking for a change. Not just in my appearance but also in my life. During the lockdown, I had some time to review my life. Where I have been, where I was, and where I want to be.

Taking it one step at a time

I remember when I was young, I would climb trees and stay out long after the street lights came on. I had no fear of heights or the dark. I felt that I could and would conquer all that I set out to do in life but as I grew older, I became insecure in myself and in life. Doubts and confusion filled my head. Shyness and social awkwardness became a thing for me. Anxiety set in. I stuck my nose in books and my mind went off to distance places and time.

I learned to cover my insecurities with a smile. I learned to navigate society despite the anxiety but at some point I started to close myself off from my friends, from my family, and ultimately from the brave person I know I could be.

In truth, it is easier for me to stay the course. To never step a foot off the path that I find myself on. Why rock the boat and change things when it’s working?

But is it working?

If I am being truthful to myself, no. I want more out of my life. I feel the need to reevaluate my life and take a different path.

A part of me doesn’t want to try but a stronger part of me is pushing me to change.

Starting on a new journey

If you have gotten this far into this blog post, I thank you for your time and attention.

Today, I feel like I’m on a new journey in my life. I hope to document this change and maybe even inspire others to push themselves to change if that is what they want to do. I hope for everyone to find the best of themselves and happiness and joy in life.

I’m starting my journey today. Today, as I wash my hair, it won’t be like any other day. Into the shower I go as the insecure, uncertain, introverted me and out will pop out an introvert who ready for change and ready to take on the world.

Thanks for taking that journey with me.

Related Articles

Back to top button